Well it looks like I've come back once again. Major huge gigantic update! Okay, small update. I've put up a not-so-exclusive coverage of the Porch Monks most recent concert at Boner Kreek. Click Here. Check it out before I am forced to kill your dog. By the way, what is up with this shit load of pop-up ads? Tripod, you suck ass.

Hello boys and girls, really not much to do for this update, but I just thought I'd mention that on Friday (May 23rd) I just happened to stop by the Liberty Theater here in Fort Skank and there was a Porch Monkey gathering going on. Well, I must have been in some sort of drunken stupor, because I wandered in and watched the show. Four bands played, and besides the fact that one of the bands was the Porch Monks, the show was pretty entertaining. I can't forget the memorable performance of the first band(who's name I can't remember), they rocked. Then came Lesbian Gunfire, a great band indeed. They provided most of the entertainment for the show, and besides the fact that Albert and Aut's mommy said they couldn't say naughty words, they basically kicked ass. After them came the band TP King; a hard rocking group from the Kansas City area. They take rock 'n roll serious and were quite enjoyable. The last performers were our very own Porch Monkeys. Needless to say, they sucked. Half the crowd was lost when they got on stage, and more left during their performance. Hell, the boys were so pethetic, they had to get the help of Bobby form Lesbian Gunfire to try to keep the people there. But even during the boo's and the throwing of heavy objects, the band played on. While they sang their suicide-promoting song "Prepare the Noose" many in the crowd probably wished they could... They also sang such songs as "Start The Headache", "You'll Never Get Laid, Jethro", "I'll Take It In The Rear", along with cover songs by Weezer and Pink. All in all, I'd say it was another huge embarrasing failure for the Porch Monkeys.

Cough. Well, it looks like I've somehow managed to become motivated enough to update this page. Has it been almost a year since my last update? I think so. You must be thinking that since last year, the Porch Monkeys have become the ultimate of bands. WRONG. Don't kid yourself, they still suck, and that's why I'm still here. I'd like to make note that I attended "Club Wars" where the Porch Monkeys competed to become the ultimate of bands! Sure enough, they lost. Good job! But at the concert I did discover a band that may just be WORSE than the Porch Monkeys. Two words: Coventry Sacrifice. Horrible stuff, but as it turns out, with the help of their minions, they won the show..Go figure. Anywho, there will be more updates soon. Paperface rocks! Peace out.